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15th June 2018

When I’m on the hunt I feel like I start with a flat tank, half full. As I drive/walk etc I feel like my energy, self confidence and love of life slowly drains and I yearn for the end. Then , occasionally I turn a corner, I see something. Like finding a snack in your bag when you’re really hungry. It can range on the spectrum from a half rotten satsuma to a home-made flapjack . The satiety and comfort it brings is unmatchable . I am recharged, energised and ready to hunt for more.
In the mean time I fade in and out of rage at the sun and regret my wasted time and faffing . I feel lament for the clouded heavy skies that painted the scenes whilst I was still showering .
I chant:
Let go of what you can’t control
Be patient and present
Be grateful
It will come and if it doesn’t – that’s ok

It’s strange when no one else around you feels that anxiety
As they smile and drive they are unaware of the time a cloud looms or the sun strikes a building in a seductive fashion.

This is my first escape in a while and I felt the need to vent that I’ve taken no pictures and feel a tad empty. But who knows, maybe I’ll stumble across even a mouldy satsuma soon.

 

OAO