The chemicals chose

6th December 2019

Somewhere nestled amongst the knee-high shrubs in lea valley lies a sekonica light meter- please do let me know if you stumble across it.

Dad popped over from Sweden last week and we caught up for a mere couple of hours and went straight into geek mode. After a few Pigeon cuddles we wrapped ourselves up to brace the chill. Weirdly both cloaked an all black attire; two ninjas ready to hit the scrubs.

A short skip to Lea Valley nature reserve was accompanied by gorgeous crisp winter light. I tested a Polaroid camera that has gathered dust and had two shots left in it. As predicted the rollers were filthy and the chemicals stubbornly chose where they decided to appear. It was interesting they chose to expose just Dad.The joy and purpose for me of Polaroid is to let go of control and allow the process to dictate the outcome. This is not to avoid ownership of my mistakes but simply embrace the ones that occur. As someone who can never look back and ‘like’ my imagery it perhaps allows more forgiveness and reminds me of the learning process.
It’s always fascinating to shoot a photographer and listen to how their brain bleeds thoughts of how and what is visually striking when you both hit ‘shoot mode’. It’s also intriguing to see how photographers present themselves. Switching over to the other side of then lens our minds wander into what we would see. Where we feel the light, what gaze we hold. I find it helpful to build empathy and understanding for my subjects. To feel how they may feel or think.

Dad and I have always had complicated relationship but as we occasionally use our time to share our passion and wonders for science, photography and craft. Bridges are being built and sharing this motivates me to understand him and us. The process feeds into my interest in psychology, as when we shoot it’s a unique process. When he poses, it’s not him yet but that’s ok. I am beginning to learn how he sees the world and that’s exciting.

Now I have stopped travelling and slowed down I am a tad more infuriated by my unproductively but trying to embrace the festive chill. It’s been years since I’ve done a ‘walk’…maybe I need to explore my new area…oao x