Memories of boredom

7th May 2020

I was reminded a few weeks ago by a friend how this lockdown boredom feels like it did when we were teenagers. There was a constant quest to fill our time with activity.

“We’re bored…. what can we dooo?”

It felt most rampant around the age of 10…not quite old enough to roam free and earn cash, but mature enough to have an itching desire to feel entertained in a new way.

We played out the front in the summer and it seemed to be the only time when time didn’t even feel real. There was no planning, no agenda. We would just skate or play basketball until we got too tired. Often the sun would set and we would drag our aching limbs inside to play computer games and watch TV. Tucked in, we would talk late into the night; struggling to be the one to stay quiet long enough for sleep to capture us.

But it was those moments in between all this activity, the stillness and a blank mind. Indecisiveness encouraged further frustration. How could we stop this suffocating feeling of boredom?? It itched and dragged. Eventually an answer would arrive and we would be propelled back into the land of fun.

I adore that spontaneity. To prevent depression I feel an obsessive need to plan my days loosely; know roughly the activities that will fill them.

However with this time I’m trying to revert back. Perhaps still plan a little, but with an alternative motive; one of adventure and play rather than productivity. I’m looking for wild lakes or walking un trodden paths.

I have always been obsessed with time. I wonder if some of that derives from a yearning to return to an age where it was too abstract to contemplate and so unnecessary that it didn’t burden me.

This image was shot in Tas for my project ‘Island Symmetries’. Mia lay restless on the curb as we huddled at Bottom side. As I looked into her eyes I remembered that same feeling and right now I can relate to it often. Then I remember to go out and play.